Relationship violence occurs when an individual uses a pattern of emotional, verbal, sexual, and/or physical, abuse to control an intimate partner. Relationship violence can affect anyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, culture, age or religion.
Disagreements develop from time to time in relationships. Relationship violence is not a disagreement; it is a pattern of behaviors that may cause psychological harm or physical injury and/or be criminal in nature.
Relationship or domestic violence may begin with insults, name calling, shoving, or throwing and breaking objects, then proceed to driving recklessly to endanger or scare another person, isolating family members from others, and controlling resources like money, vehicles, credit, and time. More physically violent behaviors include threats of violence or suicide, or threats to take children from the abused person, hurting pets, kidnapping, stalking, hitting, and strangling/choking.
Abuse is a learned pattern of behavior and, without intervention, becomes more destructive and sometimes lethal over time. Abusive individuals may have a need for power or control over someone else to compensate for their own low self-esteem, insecurity, fear, and confusion. A
Relationship Violence Warning Signs
A partner who:
Makes all the decisions in the relationship;
tries to control you by being bossy and giving orders
. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells around the abuserLoses his or her temper and then blames you for causing this loss of control; says you provoke him or her, led him or her on, made him or her do it; twists your words and makes you feel you’re the “crazy one.”
Checks up on you frequently—listens in on phone calls, checks your e-mail, constantly asks about your whereabouts, calls you at work, checks your car mileage, always wants to be with you to the exclusion of anyone or anything else in your life.
Is jealous and possessive of you and/or won’t accept breaking up.
Doesn’t take your opinion seriously—puts down your thoughts or feelings, calls you names.
Threatens you, your friends or family or pets—uses or owns weapons, scares you because you are unsure of how he or she will react to the things you say or do.
Says s/he can’t live without you and may threaten suicide.Is violent—this may include “just” grabbing too hard or pinching to serious physical violence, such as choking and hitting behaviors. S/he may have a history of fighting or losing his or her temper quickly; brags about mistreating others
.Pressures you for sex— is forceful when you do have sex; attempts to guilt-trip you by saying,
“If you really loved me you would...;” gets too serious about the relationship too fast
.Engages in reckless behavior, including dangerous driving, abuse of alcohol or other drugs—may pressure you to take them also.Has a history of bad relationships—blames the other person for problems in the relationship.
Believes that men should be in control and powerful and women should be passive and submissive.
Your friends and family have warned yo
u about or told you they were worried for your safety.“
Too good to be true”—at least in the beginning.Can’t stand to be away from you—this can include jealousy, possessiveness and stalkingManipulative behaviors— makes you feel guilty or embarrassed to say no.
After a violent episode, the abuser is apologetic, sends flowers, etc., and promises to never do it again. And then it happens again.
ACT.fast so you dont blame yourself at the end of the day.
Some say being single or lonely is misery..i dont think so...i think being in a violent relationship in the name of love is the defination of MISERY.
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