WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SECRETS ???

Keeping things or hiding things from your spouse is a sign of problems in a marriage. A healthy marriage is one that is built on total openness and honesty. When it comes to secrets in marriage, there should be none.

Here’s a test with some tough questions:

Do you hide purchases of things you bought from your spouse? (… you shouldn’t)

Do you allow your spouse to read your email messages? (… you should if they asked to)

Do you share your passwords to email addresses or Facebook accounts with your spouse? (… you should)

Would you allow your spouse to read your text messages on your cell phone if she asked? (… you should)

Do you hide friendships with some people or  the opposite sex from your spouse? (… you shouldn’t)

Do you immediately delete all messages received via email, text and Facebook? (… if so, why?)

I know that for some, those are really tough questions. You may not like to hear this, but if you are constantly hiding things from your spouse, my first questions for you would be, “Why?” and “What are you hiding?” When I counsel couples and one spouse is hiding things (generally text messages) from the other spouse, it sends off all kinds of red flags in my head.

Does my husband read every email, text message or Facebook message I get? No, but she’s welcome to read them anytime he wants. I hide nothing from him and I find accountability in the fact that he knows every password to my email and Facebook accounts.

Most affairs begin as a friendship that develops into something more than it was intended to be. One of the first signs that your friendship has become more than a friendship is when you begin to hide things about that relationship from your spouse. When it comes to friendships with the opposite sex, abide by these three rules:

Always keep it just a friendship.Make sure your spouse has no problems or issues with it.Never keep a secret or hide anything you are doing from your spouse.

A healthy marriage is a relationship where spouses don’t hide things from one another. Do you want a great marriage? Be honest with your spouse.

Secrets and lies will explode a relationship just like a ticking bomb. If your spouse can’t know what you’re doing, should you really be doing it?

Happily married couples know that it’s better to have a difficult conversation about negative spending, eating, or personal habits than it is to lie or try to conceal. A strong marriage can work through problems, but only if both parties know about it.