DEALING WITH A STINGY MAN.

There is nothing worse than marrying a stingy man. Wikipedia describes a miser as a person who is reluctant to spend money, sometimes to the point of foregoing even the basic comforts and some necessities in order to hoard money or other possessions. If you ask me, what to do with a stingy husband, I may not be the right person to offer an advice because I know that people are born stingy and they die stingy. However that is my opinion; I have been able to dig up some research that can help you if you are already caught in the web of a stingy man. One woman asks: ‘In a marriage, is anything as hurtful, depressing and painful as having a very very rich husband who is also very stingy to you? A husband who feels like your only need is food and accommodation, like you are born to economize and manage everything while he can afford to give himself all the best things of life?

That is quite disturbing isn’t it? True, there are men like that who use money as a control factor. Perhaps if they starve you of funds, you will forever be at their mercy.

First advice from me is do not marry a stingy man. You would have noticed from the time of courtship that his ways with money are stiff, but agreed, some men are clever at concealing their true nature.

Nevertheless, if you are already married, you just must learn to manage him/her! Though you are unlucky if your partner is not generous and hates to spend money, you can still cope.

Wondering how to handle a stingy spouse without endangering your relationship?

•Find out why your partner is behaving in this way

Some people are innately cheap, and nothing you can do will change them. But they are a small minority. You have to try to understand why they are the way they are. Usually, there is a perfectly good reason for it – their job does not pay well, the job market is not stable, and they want to save money in case they are laid off– all excellent reasons to be frugal.

Talk about it

You need to mention (delicately) that this behaviour is becoming a problem, if you believe it is getting out of hand. Give examples of the stinginess and let him or her know how this makes you feel.

Give more love

As a spouse, you need to give more love and care. This is not a time to withdraw your affection, as it will only worsen matters. It needs to be understood that money cannot buy feelings and such things are short lived. Plan to enact that you require lot of money for the home.

Give up things to win their heart

Do not be argumentative to prove your ideas. Always give up and make him/her understand that that gives you more pleasure. Buy them gifts that will influence change.

Know your spouse

Know what he/she likes best. Cater for those needs. Make his/her needs tie with yours, as in mutual interest. Advise him/her on how best to take care of his/her interest, be it kids or family at large. Ultimately, what is good for him/her will be good for you.

Do not resort to threats

A woman with a stingy spouse? Know how to tender your requests. Exaggerate your needs but let him know he is more than the request before him. Never use threats as a way of getting what you want from him. That may harden him the more. Use guilt as a weapon. Say things like, ‘Honey, when last have I made a request like this?’ You know I will not ask for assistance if I can help it. Please see what you can do, I’m counting on you’.

Listen to what he is saying

He may be upset that nobody pays attention to his needs when it comes to Christmas for instance. Perhaps, he always spent his money buying gifts for others, yet nobody seemed to appreciate him or reciprocate when it was his turn to receive. Everybody is the way they are for a reason, after all. Ask him questions that will get him to open up. If he is able to air his feelings and be understood for it, a lot of it may just change.

Change the subject when complaints start to mount

If he points out that you spent too much money on

the holiday, or simply hates the colour orange that you chose for his gift, acknowledge it simply. Quickly change the subject. Not dwelling on the complaint or giving him the negative attention he is craving will discourage similar comments for the rest of the day.

Play the “glad” game

“The Glad Game” is a way to find the joy in life. When things look negative, point out the positives of the situation. Follow that up with listing things that genuinely make both of you happy.

Challenge a mean comment

While it is better to ignore small things, a comment that has truly offended you should be nipped in the bud. Be honest. Explain that it hurts your feeling. Your honesty may make him/her realise the error.

Teach generosity by being generous

If he/she will not even give you or the children a Christmas gift, do not let that stop you. Give him/her something that pertains to his/her hobbies, a gift you know he/she will genuinely enjoy. Include a gift receipt to silence him/her if there is a complaint. He/she will likely be touched and think twice before being so stingy next time.

LIFE GOES ON

It was a perfect relationship. Your love for each other was overflowing that it seemed to go beyond reason. You had your future together already planned. You even practiced a new signature using his surname as yours.

You hardly picture fulfilling your dreams without him beside you. Everything was supposed to proceed as expected. But somewhere along the line, something went wrong

. It might be a cheating on his part. It might be a mistake you committed. It might be as important as your parents’ disapproval of your relationship or as trivial as your dissonant prides and egos

The importance of the matter depends on your perception.) Or it might be your irreconcilable differences that verged your relationship to disastrous. And from there, the relationship died. Your dreams together died. You died- or so you thought.

But the thing is, you did not actually die- no matter how much you thought you did or you wanted to. You may think you are broken beyond repairs. All the efforts you invested in that relationship was put into waste. But you did not die. You know it because you are still hurting. And being in pain is a good indication that you are still alive. You are still able to feel.

The problem comes when you are no longer able to recognize the feeling rightfully. Indulging yourself too much into the pain blurs things making you unable to identify what actually hurts from those that are just products of your perennial wallowing in self-pity. You begin to think that you cannot live without him.

It is just not easy to forget a relationship that bordered in love and passion. Even if it was already over, memories will still follow you. You miss every single detail about him. You might even find yourself revisiting those places that the two of you marked with memories. Then, you’ll wonder if he’s still in love or he longs for you the way you do for him. Only to find out that he already had his life renewed. And yes, he’s in love, but not with you.  All that you have now is all that you had yesterday- and these are nothing more than your memories together.

You will be addicted to the idea that you still can be back into each other’s arms. You’ll drunk-dial and will be lucky enough to catch his attention and stir him. But even if you do so, after you got your sanity back, you’ll realize that the fact remains the same. He already managed to delete what you once were. It’s still over.

Bridges will be burned with or without your consent. You may need to hold on to your dear love but you need to learn to let go at the same time. You have to accept that you are now on separate planes. Some things, no matter how hard you fight for it, will end up in a loss. It would be difficult. The process might take several months or even years. You don’t know when you will ever forget. Perhaps you never will.

But despite of it all, life goes on. Of course it is always easier said than done. But then again, you’re left with no choice but to continue living. Proverbial as it may seem, the world will not stop spinning just because yours did.

You have to stop strolling down the memory lane and should take a minute to live the present.  You have to stop punishing yourself for something you cannot anymore change. Stop waiting for that twist of fate that will suddenly give you everything back. You know that as far as your rationality is concerned, that is, so far, impossible. And with this, you need not be cynical about love. But you have to be positive about life.

You need to be stronger than you think you can be. You have to push to transcend your heart-break demarcated limits.

Love is worth dying for, but that is figuratively speaking. The feeling is monumental. It brings you to the highest of heavens. But love, is just a part of the bigger picture.

When they say there is more to life than love, they weren’t wrong. Losing someone is not the end of the road. Your failed relationship does not define who you are and who you will be. The challenge is to learn from your mistakes.

P. S. But if you still insist your “To live is to love” mantra, then keep this in mind; there is more to love than him or her. Several things in this world are in need of your love and attention. Several things are more needed to be indignantly fought for.

There are the children on the streets, the landless farmers, the exploited workers, the violated women and the voiceless indigenous peoples. These are the kinds of fight you should never give up in. Because just like your life after your love died, it goes on. 

KEEP HIM HAPPY

When is the last time you reminded your S.O. just how much they mean to you? If you're wondering how to keep your man happy, you've come to the right page.

Many women complain that the men in their lives are not faithful. While this may be partially true, it is also true that not all men cheat. Women are often clueless about the reason why men cheated. Men have insecurities and when they are not shown sufficient attention, or if they are emotionally or sexually dissatisfied, they may cheat. It is also true that some men cheat because they are always looking for excitement, but many men also choose commitment and faithfulness. If you show your man that he is the only one in your life, and take care of him, there are fewer chances that he will leave you for someone else. Women have not been successful in ridding men of such behavior, but some women can do it. So how can you keep your man happy? We gathered a few secrets to keep your man from straying.

Give him good love
If a man knows that he will get attention and love at home, he will not be anxious to find it elsewhere. If you do this, you can expect him to do the same for you. Treat him with care and let him know that he is important.

Let him know the consequences
Don’t tell him that you will leave him, tell him you will do the same. No man would be able to accept a cheating wife.

Tell him how much you love him
So you both married because you love each other. You pledged your love, too. But if you send him an SMS text or put a love note on the refrigerator, it will have a better effect.

Stay sexy
It is possible that your man has lost interest because you have changed significantly—emotionally and physically. Sexual attraction is important in keeping a relationship alive. You do not have to look like a supermodel, but maintain your original shape. Also, you must initiate sexual intercourse. The feeling that he is desired will make him love and want you more.

Trust him
Men, or anyone for that instance, don't like someone keeping a track of their daily activities. Trust him and show him that you know he will be faithful to you.

Know Him Better
Men need their own space. Get to know his friends and if he wants to hang out with them, make sure that you know where he is. Watch out for his ex-girlfriends and try to find out how your man feels about them now. Get to know him even more than you already do.

Flirt with him: Flirting keeps your passion alive, and it is a vital part of any good relationship. You should keep the romance alive, and go on dates often.
 

Support him
Encourage him if he wants to try something new. Support him if he's going through a rough phase in life. Generally, men do not open up as easily as women do. If you talk to your man, chances are that he will talk back. Support him, and at the same time, respect his privacy.

Get a hobby
If you have a hobby of your own, you can keep yourself busy while your man is doing something else. This will keep you away from thinking negatively about your relationship.

Love your man.
Have a nice day

NEVER COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

It’s never a good idea to compare your relationship with other people’s, because you should be concentrating on your own. If you find yourself looking at other couples and wishing you could be just like them, or even comparing your current relationship with a previous one, then read these  very good reasons why you should never compare relationships:

1. You don’t see everything

If you are worried that your relationship doesn’t match up to the, apparently prefect, relationship of someone else, then remember that you don’t know everything. They have their fights and their bad times too. Perhaps they are just better at putting on a good front.

2. You are probably forgetting what you really do have

So, your best friend’s guy drives a Mercedes and just bought her a beautiful diamond ring. Does that really mean that that they are happier than you are? Does he wrap your friend up in a warm blanket and bring her a hot drink when she’s feeling ill, like your man does. Or is he too busy with work to even notice?

3. It will just bring you down

Comparing yourself with other people will only bring you down, because you will only look at the things in the other person that you think are better. You take away the joy of what you do have, when you compare your relationship with other people’s.

4. You will hurt your partner

If you start thinking that you wish we were more like that other couple, you are really going to hurt your partner, because he is going to think that you mean: ‘I wish that you were more like that other guy.’

5. Their happiness doesn’t change yours

Whatever another couple does, it doesn’t affect your own happiness. If someone else appears to be happier than you are in their relationship, then you should be pleased for them and, perhaps, looking at what you can you can do to improve your own.

6. You will miss out on what you do have

If you are focusing too much on what other people have, then you will miss out on all the good things that you have. Look harder at the great things about your own relationship, celebrate those, enjoy them and make the most out of what is yours.

7. No one is perfect

Everyone has faults, even that perfect boyfriend that your friend seems to have. Look at all the positive things about your boyfriend that you love and learn to accept his faults; because your friend will have had to do the same, you just don’t know about it.

8. You could lose what you have if you follow the guidance of the green eyed monster

Jealousy is not a nice thing to live with and, if your partner feels that you are not happy with him, then he may take the decision to move on himself. Are you really so unhappy in your relationship that you want that to happen, or is it the just the green eyed monster coming into play?

9. It will only make you focus on the negatives

If you constantly look at other peoples relationships, then you will begin to look only at the negatives of your own. Remember, the grass only looks greener on the other side, but it rarely is when you actually get there.

10. It is a waste of time and energy!

And finally, why waste your time obsessing over someone else’s relationship!  If you really are unhappy in your own relationship, then either work on fixing the issues or, if you need to, move on. Your own happiness is the important thing and only you can be the true judge of that.

Stay happy!

TIME TO LET GO.

Sometimes relationships end after a huge shouting match. Sometimes one person cheated. Sometimes one partner is moving or is ready to get married or wants to have kids. And sometimes, a relationship just runs its course. That last scenario, though, can be hard to interpret: How do you know when it’s time to call it quits, versus whenyou’re just going through a rough patch? We spoke with relationship experts to get a list of eight crucial signs to look out for. If several of these apply to you, and if you’ve worked on them to no avail or if it just feels too late, it could be time to cut the cord

1 YOU’RE FIGHTING OVER EVERTHING

Fact: Fights happen. And some couples just naturally fight more than others. But if your argument pattern is changing and you’re starting to pick fights over the littlest, most insignificant things, that could be an indication that something’s awry

2 YOU’RE STAYING LATE IN THE OFFICE.

“The whole essence of being in love is that you always want more,”. If you’re not feeling any desire to hurry home after a long day at work, ask yourself why.

3 EVERYTHING YOUR PARTNER DOES BOTHERS YOU

This is when a partner’s habit that didn’t bother you before makes nails on a chalkboard seem enjoyable. Maybe it’s that whistle habit he always had. Or maybe 97 percent of what she says gets on your nerves these days. If this is happening more and more, it could be a sign that you’re drifting apart,

4 YOU COME UP WITH EXCUSES NOT TO HAVE SEX

During the honeymoon phase, you and your partner probably wanted to jump each other every time you were in a room together. It’s totally normal for things to cool off a little bit when you’re months or years into a relationship—but if you’re actively avoiding sex, that’s something else,

5 YOU’RE LEGIT INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE

Getting a little steamed up when you watch movie is one thing, but if you’re out with your friends and find yourself seriously flirting with and interested in other people, that likely means you’re not totally happy with the partner you’ve already got, 

6 YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN MAKING SACRIFICES FOR HIM

Lots of us don’t get pumped about dinner with the in-laws or going to a partner’s work event, but we do it. Because that’s what love is. If you notice that you’re extra, extrauninterested in these kinds of activities, that they don’t even seem worth it to you, consider that a sign that you’re less invested in the relationship

7 YOU CAN’T PICTURE THE FUTURE TOGETHER

“Your lives really do have to fit together,” says Sussman. If you imagine your life five, 10, 20 years from now and you can’t see your partner in it, you might want to ask yourself if that’s because he doesn’t belong there. 

Well...what ever it is thats going in  your relationship or marriage,always remember that if you truly love your spouse,together you can make things work.

If you notice you both arr driffting apart already..make it wok..know what you want and fight for it.

Have a nice day.

Reasons You Should Never Give Up On Love

Are you over 40 and still hoping to find your soulmate? Maybe you're divorced and want to find true love this time around, or you thought you found the love of your life and feel confused. Perhaps you haven't met the right man yet.
Please dont give up....

1. Because you don’t know when it’s going to happen to you. It could happen tomorrow, it could happen next week, and it could happen in twenty years. But when it does happen, you don’t want to have become so cold-hearted that you can’t receive it.

2. Because if you’re honest, wanting to be numb to the pain that past loves have caused you (or the pain that comes from a lack of past loves), has not made you any happier.

3. Because the different kinds of love you are meant for in your lifetime ought to work alongside each other. If you close yourself off to one, it will probably affect them all.

4. Because even though wanting love can hurt, and it makes you vulnerable and leaves you open to be wounded, it still makes you stronger; the alternative makes you weaker.

5. Because as long as you’re living a life that is as honest and true as possible, you’ll learn to find love in the small, insignificant details of life.

6. Because love – any kind of true love – will make you a better person. Whether it lasts for one important moment in time or a lifetime.

7. Because one of the biggest risks you will ever take in life is love. And as a wise woman (my mother) always says, “It’s risky not to take risks.”

8. Because love doesn’t seem to do what we want it to but that doesn’t it doesn’t do what is best for us at any given time.

9. Because even if it’s not in your cards to have the kind of love that comes with companionship, being in love with those who love you in any way at all, will give you everything you need.

10. Because when you see things through the eyes of love, everything is always more spectacular.

11. Because love makes you believe that anything is possible in a world where people will always tell you to be “realistic.”

12. Because what have you got to lose? Think about it. If you do give up, you could miss out on something magnificent. If you don’t, well the rest will be history as they say.

13. Because life is unpredictable; and so is love. And although that doesn’t always seem like a good thing, somewhere deep down in ourselves, we have to believe it is.

14. Because life is short, even though at times it may feel really long. And something tells me if you give up on love, you’ll end up with a lot of regret.

15. Because you truly can’t be open to life without also being open to love.

16. Because by our very nature as human beings, our souls call us to live a life of love; to love, and to be loved.

17. Because of this: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

THE IMPORTANCE OF KISSING.

What kind of relationship do you share with your partner? Is it based on lust or love? To some, every relationship needs to have a little bit of lust, only then it can work on the levels of intimacy. You might hold, cuddle and show affection to your partner, but how often do the two of you kiss?

Did you know that kissing is important in a relationship to help create that special spark of love! Kissing in a relationship will also help to keep you healthy in ways you cannot even imagine. . If you want to know why kissing is necessary in a relationship, here are your top reasons

1 To Feel The Connection
The reason why kissing is important in a relationship is because it is one way of feeling the connection between two souls  that are one.

2 To Say I Love You
There are many ways to show your partner your love for them and kissing them passionately is one of the ways. Kissing is necessary in a relationship to show the other person in a deep connection and express your feeling.

3 It Strengthens Closeness
When you kiss your partner, there is a form of closeness which starts to grow in the relationship. You tend to become a lot more closer to your partner than before.

4 Builds Emotional Attachment
The other reason why kissing is important in a relationship is it helps in building an emotional attachment. When this is formed in the relationship, you develop a kind of emotional feeling with your special person.

5 Adds To Romance In Relationship If you feel the romance is dying out in the relationship, all you got to do is find a moment to spark that love with a kiss. To help a relationship that is lacking romance, kissing is therefore very important.

6 Works As A Stress Buster
We all have our stress due to various reasons. One of the reasons why kissing is important in a relationship is because it acts as a stress buster. All you need to do is hold the love of your life in your arms and passionately kiss him/her to take away all your stress.

7Helps make relationship Stronger
Why kissing is so important in a relationship is because it helps the connection of the relationship to grow stronger. A kiss not only binds two mouths together but also two hearts of two individuals

8 Helps Sort Issues
If you and your partner had a bad fight, make up with a kiss. Who knows that the perfect and passionate kiss can save your relationship. Therefore, this is indeed why kissing is necessary in a relationship

Infact i can go on and on..
The truth is the power of a kiss in love..relationship or marriage cannot be underestimated.
Why not spoil your spouse with so much kisses today,and every other day

WHY ARE YOU KEEPING SECRETS ???

Keeping things or hiding things from your spouse is a sign of problems in a marriage. A healthy marriage is one that is built on total openness and honesty. When it comes to secrets in marriage, there should be none.

Here’s a test with some tough questions:

Do you hide purchases of things you bought from your spouse? (… you shouldn’t)

Do you allow your spouse to read your email messages? (… you should if they asked to)

Do you share your passwords to email addresses or Facebook accounts with your spouse? (… you should)

Would you allow your spouse to read your text messages on your cell phone if she asked? (… you should)

Do you hide friendships with some people or  the opposite sex from your spouse? (… you shouldn’t)

Do you immediately delete all messages received via email, text and Facebook? (… if so, why?)

I know that for some, those are really tough questions. You may not like to hear this, but if you are constantly hiding things from your spouse, my first questions for you would be, “Why?” and “What are you hiding?” When I counsel couples and one spouse is hiding things (generally text messages) from the other spouse, it sends off all kinds of red flags in my head.

Does my husband read every email, text message or Facebook message I get? No, but she’s welcome to read them anytime he wants. I hide nothing from him and I find accountability in the fact that he knows every password to my email and Facebook accounts.

Most affairs begin as a friendship that develops into something more than it was intended to be. One of the first signs that your friendship has become more than a friendship is when you begin to hide things about that relationship from your spouse. When it comes to friendships with the opposite sex, abide by these three rules:

Always keep it just a friendship.Make sure your spouse has no problems or issues with it.Never keep a secret or hide anything you are doing from your spouse.

A healthy marriage is a relationship where spouses don’t hide things from one another. Do you want a great marriage? Be honest with your spouse.

Secrets and lies will explode a relationship just like a ticking bomb. If your spouse can’t know what you’re doing, should you really be doing it?

Happily married couples know that it’s better to have a difficult conversation about negative spending, eating, or personal habits than it is to lie or try to conceal. A strong marriage can work through problems, but only if both parties know about it.

WHAT WE HATE ABOUT WOMEN........(BATTLE LINE)

I took out time to chat and rub minds with Men and guys around the world to find out what they hate ,that we ...women do often do.
Their reactions and replies was something else..well its all good.it will be our turn tomorrown.to let them know what we also hate  about things they do.

Here are what the Men shared with me.

ViCTOR ADEBAYO...south africa
Age 32.
*********When She Can’t Take A Joke
Okay, don’t get me wrong, intelligence is a big turn on for me, but not when it is the only thing That is there. Having a good sense of humor is integral for every relationship from both ends. If one side is funny and the other isn’t, both sides will suffer greatly and a lot of different mood Swings will occur. Ladies, if you’re the serious type, try to loosen up a bit for your man because He hates it when you can’t take a joke. Be funny, be lively, be spontaneous.

AUSTIN BROWN..NEW YORK
AGE 41
*********When She’s Too Much Of A Drama QueeN
It is completely normal for girls to randomly feel sad sometimes, but not all the time. If it is a habit of hers to find drama in everything and to cry every chance she gets, She needs to look into those matters and fix them because no guy will be that Patient. Guys work their best, good guys at least, to make sure their ladies are happy And content, but even they give up if they cry any chance they get.

NIYI ADEWALE....NIGERIA
AGE 37
******** When She Always Takes Too Long
Believe me, us guys have things to do too. It’s okay if the ladies take more than a few to get ready Every now and then, but every time? No. It is cute the first three times and then it gets old and Annoying, quite frankly. Speed up that beautification process next time you have your man waiting On something important. Think of the guys for once, ladies, you’re beautiful as it is – no need to Spend hours making sure of it.

LAWRNT WHITE ...KENYA
AGE 27
********** When She’s Too Overly Attached
And we take the lovely Overly Attached Girlfriend Meme into account here. Ladies, it’s very sweet and Cute if you’re sensitive about your guy and you care about how he’s doing and how his everyday Routine is, but it is NOT cute if you ask him about every single second of every single day of his life With you. Don’t suffocate him, just like you, guys need their space too. Let them be comfortable with Their friends and family and they will automatically be comfortable with you in return. And here is a picture of the lovely Laina Morris.

FEMI AMOS..NIGERIA
AGE 38
******** When She’s Too Jealous
It is natural for girls to be jealous of their men, but it could also get annoying if it is for all the Wrong reasons. Your boyfriend went to hang out with his buddies, one of his buddies had His girlfriend with him, and she struck up a simple conversation with your boyfriend, that Is perfectly normal and you SHOULD NOT be jealous of that fact. This goes both ways, Trust each other enough to make each other feel comfortable in your own ways.

MANTOBA KENNIS.....MALAYSIA
AGE 38
*******when she Gossips Too Much
Nobody likes a gossip monger, period. If you have that habit, of talking behind people’s back all The time, your boyfriend will start keeping a certain distance from you. It is a big turn off for guys If their girls are so involved in everyone else’ life that they forget their own and moreover forget They have a guy to take care of. A little gossip doesn’t hurt anyone, but keep it civil and limited.

BANJI DARAMADE.   UK
AGE 40
*******. When She Still Talks About Her EX
There is a difference between thinking about how bad your past was and always thinking about Your past. Guys don’t like it if their girls keep bringing up their EX in every conversation they Have, which is very obvious. Being clingy to the past will make your guy worried about your Loyalty that you think about your EX too much maybe you want him back. Avoid talking about Your EX all the time.

ElBERT LEADRAINNE...PARIS
AGE 27
******** When She Complains Too Much
Your guy might not be perfect, but he might be trying to improve himself, there is no need To throw a tantrum every time you spot a mistake in him. Remember, when you fell in love With him, you fell in love with his imperfections too. Just because he forgets to make the Bed every morning, doesn’t mean you start complaining about it at that very moment and Ruin your mood and his.

SEUN MAJA......DUBAI
AGE 33
******* Too Much Of A Gold Digger
Gold Diggers, they go as fast as they come. Guys, make sure you know who you’re Committing yourself to before you make the big move. Sometimes, you might give Off the wrong impressions and she might end up asking for more things that You might not be able to give her which might lead to a lot of fights and discomfort. Keep a transparent relationship when it comes to money and other things and lead A better love life.

DENZEL MALO....NIGERIA
AGE 31
******When She Talks To Her EX
This is the epitome of hated things. If a girl is still in contact with her EX, it is not going to be Taken lightly. Ladies, make sure you cut off all past relationships before committing to the next One before you end up hurting him. It is the most hurtful feeling any girl could give a guy, when She talks to her EX, even as friends it doesn’t matter. Just don’t do it.

WELL i look forward to getting opinions from the ladies..and revealing it to the men tomorrow..we also sure have things to say.
Remember you can contact us via e mail
Topssite4u007@gmail.com
Have a nice day.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A BOY,A PLAYER,AND A REAL MAN.

A BOY

Whoever dates or marries a boy must be very patient,because a boy will always be a boy regardless of his age

.Age has nothing to do with brain.growing up and growing old is never the same.
A boy care less about what makes you happy as a woman.He knows nothing about putting a home together and he is not ready to know.Its d wife or the girlfriend who will be doing the thinking and taking decisions.It will be hard for him to part with the things he is used to as a teenager.He will be less concerned about his mode of dressing or his reputation.

A boy is loose,he will kiss and tell openly and talks about everything in his relationship to everybody and openly condemn his woman. A boy will make his mum or sister his next of kin even when he is happily married with kids.

A boy never worry about the future because he never wants to grow.A boy knows nothing about respecting or how treat a woman,

A boy will beat his woman and care less about her pains..

A boy can make his woman,s life miserable not because he’s wicked but because he’s a child.He will rather play video games or hang out with his home boys rather helping his kids with their home works.When a grown woman marries or dates a boy she automatically becomes a girl.she will change from a peaceful matured woman to a nagging young girl and people will think she has gone insane its because she is dating or got married to a teenager.

A PLAYER

Its better to be single than dating a player.Game playing is a stage in every mans life where he will date more than one woman and hide them from one another.A man who doesn’t go through this stage before settling can be very dangerous and reckless later in life.Whoever refused to stop or leave this stage of his life is a called a PLAYER.

A player is the closet thing to a boy that’s why they call themselves BIG BOYS..A player is a smart but confused,wicked,selfish and inconsiderate male,who can never stay faithful to one woman. Its easy for players to date any woman because they appears very attractive,clean,and dress very smart and presentable..

A player can be rich, famous, popular,tall, handsome,romantic, or posses any quality that many women wants in a guy.A player tells you what U want to hear and show U what u love to see to make U belief he’s real and then put ur life on hold…

A player can make any woman develop a heart attack.No woman can stop a player from playing games until he decides to stop.No woman can win a game with a player apart from material women who never dates for love.Any time or efforts you spend with a player can end up in vain.

A player can put your life on hold. A player will display a make believe behavior and make any woman got carried away so much she will give testimonies in church as if GOD has answered her prayers.

A player will make you promises that will make you feel on top of the world.A player will spend any amount of money and efforts to get between your legs when he accomplish his mission his story will change.

Players are allergic to delay.If he couldn’t get what he wants on time,he will leave U and move on to D next victim.He will always give you excuses when you bring up the issue of marriage.

A player,s heart has no space for love,He will only marry a potential victim for material benefits and continue his games after settling down.He will tell terrific stories about his innocent wife just to get another woman to bed.

A REAL MAN
A real man is a grown up matured man(regardless of his age) that is done playing games and ready to commit to just one woman and be faithful and honest with her. .most women say there is no such thing like a real man…but the truth is there r still many real men…ts only that no man is real until he is ready to grow up and done playing games.

A real man is the best gift any woman could get n life.
A real man will love you genuinely and prove his love to you.He will be sensitive to your needs He will be allergic to your tears and treats you like queen.

He can never be complete without you.He will make promises and keep to them.You will be his best friend, his next of kin and he will confide in you.you will never fight for his attention.He will gossip with you,laugh with you and cry with you.your pasts will never bothers him.whatever brings you happiness and joy will be his priority in life.

He will refuse to function when you are down and be on top of the world when you are happy.

He will love whatever concerns you and connected to you.when there’s conflict he will never raise either his voice or his hands.He will peacefully make you understand his point or view.
He will carry u along whatever he plans to do.If you disagree with him he will never take offense
He will trust without fear and give without expect.

WHICH CATEGORY DO YOU FALL mr??
My dear sisters...who are you  hooked to? A BOY,PLAYER,OR A REAL MAN??

WELL NOW YOU KNOW THEM.

MUSIC VIDEO PRODUCER, AKIN ALABI’S STOLEN CAR RETURNED BY ROBBERS (

Popular music video producer, Akin Alabi, recently lost his Matrix car to the men of the underworld at Ogba, after it was parked.

The music producer made the announcement in the afternoon about the theft and after some hours, he received a call that the car has been found just two streets away from where it was stolen.

Akin said he was shocked after receiving the cal and had to run to the location and behold he found his stolen with the engine still warm.

According to him, “I made a post yesterday morning about the theft of my car. By afternoon, I got a call from someone telling me he saw the car just two streets from where it was stolen from. I was shocked. We all ran there and lo and behold it was parked there for real. Infact the engine was still warm meaning it wasn’t long that it got parked there.”

MERCY AIGBE REVEALS WHAT KILLED HER ELDER SISTER

Nollywood actress, Mercy Aigbe, who is currently on set a movie, has began the year in a good note as she was recently unveiled as a brand ambassador of Dubai Afrika Sickle Cell Project.

The project is aimed curbing the increase of Sickle Cell patients in the country as well provide them with basic amenities for their daily survival.

While making the announcement, the actress revealed that she had lost her elder sister to the sickness and she sure knows how it feels to lose a loved one without being able to help.

According to her, “Am glad to be doing this with dubaiafrika. I lost my elder sister to Sickle cell and you don’t know what it was like watching her helpless going through all those crisis hmmmmmm! Joy Aigbe continue to R.I.P.”

She warned lovers who are about to settle down to know their genotype before saying “I do” to each other as to avoid unforeseen circumstance.

“They say love conquers all, but not in this case. We encourage you to Know your genotype before saying I do. Save the future. If you truly love each other; don't get married or make babies if genotypes don't tally,” she wrote.

INVEST IN YIUR WIFE..

Your wife needs your creative energies if she is to become all that God created her to be. To help you in this area, here are some of the best tips I know for giving both of you a rich return on your investment.

Investment Tip #1: Treat her as a fully participating partner. Today the business world has all kinds of partnerships: silent partners, financial partners, equal partners, controlling partners, minority partners, and more. But in marriage, God intended for us to have only one kind: a fully participating partnership

When you recognize your wife as a fully participating partner in your life and marriage, you build her esteem. If you exclude her from your life, you devalue her worth as a person and her identity suffers. Without realizing it, you send your wife an unmistakably clear signal that says, "I don't need you. I can live my life without you."

Some husbands believe that the most difficult words to say are: "I love you" or "Will you forgive me?" But the three-word admission that seems the most threatening of all is, "I need you."

You will make your wife a participating partner in your life when you tenderly look her in the eyes and say, "I need you." Why not make this an experiential reality in your marriage.

I want to encourage you to let your wife into the interior of your life. Are you keeping her out of some area of your life? Do you tend to act independently of her in any area, including career or business? She may be a good adviser.

Investment no 2## Protect her

Your wife needs to feel safe, secure, and protected. As her husband, it's up to you to provide that security.
Certainly, you already protect your wife physically. You wouldn't think of having it any other way. You discourage her going out at night if it is dangerous. You protect her by encouraging her to lock the car when she goes shopping. You talk about what to do if a stranger forces his way into the house. And you provide the kind of security she needs at home for the times you are away. All these statements and actions demonstrate that she indeed is valued and that you care about what happens to her.

But are you protecting her from other muggers in her life, such as:

Overscheduling, letting her life get out of balance, and becoming too driven?Others' manipulation of her emotions and time?Her own unrealistic goals or expectations, which set her up for failure?Her tendency to compare herself with others—where she repeatedly comes up short in her own eyes?Burnout at work? At home?The children, who would take advantage of her weaknesses that they know so well?People who repeatedly discourage her?

Obviously, you can't protect your wife from every pressure, worry, fear, or loss. But you can do your best to anticipate many of these problems before they occur and to establish a solid security system for her protection.

Investment Tip #3: Honor her.

The following are a few techniques to honor your wife that can give you a competitive edge while also building your wife's self-esteem:

First, honor your wife by learning the art of putting her on a pedestal. If you focus on honoring her and caring for her needs, and on nurturing her as your most valued relationship, then you can truly make a difference in how she feels about herself. Capture your wife's heart by treating her with respect, tenderness, and highest esteem.

honor your wife by speaking to her with respect. Without careful attention, your tongue can become caustic, searing, and accusing. Washington Irving once said, "The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use

honor your wife by extending common courtesies. You may think that these little amenities were worthwhile only during courtship, but actually they are a great way to demonstrate respect and distinction over the long haul. Common courtesy is at the heart of servanthood; it says, "My life for yours." It bows before another to show esteem and dignity.

There is so much to share on this topic....to be continued  .........
Remember to share this post with others,you may save a home.

PETER OKOYE IS DOWN

Lots of Nigerian artistes were so engaged during the past month, December 2015, and while some have returned to the studio this New Year, some are still engaging in some shows outside the country.

For the P-Square brothers, it has been all about work and no rest and this has led to Peter Okoye, to remain indoors for a while.

The singer announced that he has not been feeling too strong and really need to take some time off duty to get his health back in good shape.

In his words, “Not feeling too strong and well today. Really need some rest man. Body no be fire wood.”

WHY SOME ARTISTES DRINK AND SMOKE..Harrysong.

For wave-making singer, Harrysong (Harrison Tare Okiri), he doesn't smoke or drink, but gets his inspiration from God to thrill his fans with awesome performance on stage but there are some other artistes who can't do without booze or drugs before mounting the stage.

Harrysong the Reggae Blues crooner explains why some ?of his colleagues do what they do. “It’s not a plus because I think it’s a limitation. Some are shy and can’t face the crowd but I think it is enough reason to take drugs. I don’t do drugs.
For me, if God has given you a talent, he also empowers you to handle any challenges that may come with it.”?

Born in Warri, Delta State, Harrysong has risen from humble beginnings and today, he is not only a successful musician but also brand ambassador to one of Africa’s biggest telecoms platforms, MTN. The star reveals that he discovered he had a talent for music at a very tender age and ever since, he has never looked back.?

Recounting his success story, Harrysong said: “I was thrown into the world after I lost my parents. I had a lot of influences from the outside but it was my grand mum that moulded me.

“It was not easy at all because you have to face the world all by yourself but with the church background I had from my grand mum, I just knew that there were certain things I must not do. I don’t smoke and I don’t drink, it was just music for me all the way.”?

NEW MUM STEPHANIE OKEREKE-LINUS BEREAVED!

What a sad way to kick-start a New Year! Nollywood actress, Stephanie Okereke-Linus who put to bed few months back has just lost her father.

The A-list actress who has been in America for the past five months lost her Dad a few days ago.

It was gathered that the 83-year old Chief Okereke took some medications and reacted badly.

Shortly after that, he passed on leaving behind his wife,children and grand children.

Due to the death, the bereaved actress will soon return to Nigeria with her hubby and son Maxwell to give their late father a befitting burial.

May his soul rip.

BEEF IS NEEDED IN SHOWBIZ....FALZ

Just as the beef in the Nigerian showbiz industry is getting thicker; Olamide and Don Jazzy, Cynthia Morgan and Davido, Vector and YCEE, Basketmouth and Freeze and lots more, another star, Falz thinks Nigeria needs more of that to help boast the industry.

?The rapper who recently was drawn into a beef with internet sensation, Vic O, has revealed that rivalry is advantageous.

The 'Hello Bae' crooner thinks rivalry in Hip-hop is good for the fans.

Explaining his reasons he thinks beefs and rivalry makes sense in entertainment, Falz said. “It’s good for the fans. We are entertainers, and we have to entertain our fans.”
Could he be right?

What do you think?

SIR SHINA PETER 'S WIFE RETURNS TO NIGERIA AFTER BATTLE WITH CANCER.

Afro Juju singer, Sir Shina Peters is truly indebted to God after hearing his cry and plea for the live of his lovely wife, Sammie, who was down with cancer.

Sammie is currently back to the country after spending over two years in the United States of America where she was undergoing chemotherapy for cancer.

She landed on Thursday, the 7th of January, 2015, in company of her husband, Sir Shina Peters and her only son, Clinton.

In a chat recently., Sammie said, “My God took control. He reversed my ugly situations and made me beautiful again. To God I give adoration and honour. It is only God that I will serve because He has made me whole again.”

We thank God for her.

WHY OLAMIDE WAS ANGRY...Adekunle Gold speaks.

YBNL singer, Adekunle Gold, has finally aired his view about the drama which played out between Olamide and Don Jazzy, during the just concluded Headies Award in Lagos.

The singer, while speaking with Ebuka on Rubbing Minds, stated that Olamide was only angry because they had planned how they were going to make merry together if himself, Olamide and Lil Kesh won the various awards.

He added that Olamide was fighting for each member of his crew and not for personal benefit.

In his words, “I guess what happened is that we expected Lil Kesh to win, all of us. So, when they called another name, it took us by surprise – to be honest – because we were all going on about what we will do when he wins, the party we would throw. It was supposed to be Olamide, me and Lil Kesh.It was very saddening, to be honest, so, Olamide got on stage and stood up for one of us.”

TIWA SAVAGE 'S BABY JAMIL BECOMES AN AMBASSADOR

Its a good one for jamil..the cute son of tiwa savage balogun..as he becomes an ambassador for nigerian pampers..

We congratulate mum and son..
Jamil is so cute.
Details comming soon.

DON'T GIVE UP.

You can identify these people in your lives. Right here, right now. 

And you have heard their remarks and experience their expressions one too many times before. They sap your energy making you feel useless, hopeless.

Allow me to refresh your memory.they tell you things like
Eg

“You will never make it…”

You need lots of money to start a business and with your income I don’t think you can afford it…”

“You quit your job? Do you know how difficult life is without a fixed paycheck?...”

What’s wrong with having a sugar daddy?

“You must treat your bosses like Gods, they are the reason why you have a job and they are paying you salary to survive…”

I think you will fail…”

“You are not cut out to be your own boss…not now or ever…”

“You know what? Your dreams suck…I don’t think anyone would buy your stuff / hire you to .”

“Don’t compare yourself to your successful cousin Joe, he’s successful because his parents can afford it, and you’re not…”

“You are not clever enough, so I don’t think you can excel on this business venture…”

“Leaving your job is like digging your own grave…thing is you die slowly in it…”

Etc

These remarks, feedback, comments can continue on and on. Some have subtle message in it. Some is downright cruel.

Whatever it is, you can DO something about it.

Here are some tips on how to duck down whenever you are hit with those words. Please note that some can be pretty crude but hey! It helps to keep these pesky pests away! You will get used to it.

You will notice that there is a lot of “Walking Away” to do here, trust me it’s one of the best way to ignore these people. It’s a straightforward body language that tells these people to just leave you alone. TRY IT! It works for me.

IGNORE AND WALK AWAY

Let them talk, and talk some more. And then when they stop, ask them if they are done. If yes, walk away and don’t say a word.

YOUR PASSION IS YOURS TO KEEP

A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They ended up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if I have done that?”
Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret someday?
Follow your heart instead, and not the words of others just to live up to their expectations and make them happy but yourself.

MAKE A JOKE OUT OF IT

The next time they pass another comment, just look at them and mock them for saying it. And then walk away.

LAUGH AT THEM

Right after they made that annoying comment, laugh at them and then walk away. This action may leave them bewildered.

PROVE TO THEM

Another positive way of dealing with negative comments is to take it in and use it to fuel your spirit. Every time you feel like giving up, replay their comments over & over again and use that to push you to work harder on your dreams. Once you achieve your dream, it’s time for you to sit back and observe the look from their faces.

FEEL NOTHING

Oh yes. Let them talk, talk and talk. And then give them this look like “Duh, what do you mean?...”. Go on, act like an innocent I-Don’t-Know-A-Word-You-Are-Saying. Just don’t let them get to you. 
Don’t let their mean comments belittle you or push you down. Don’t ever allow that to happen. Use a mental visualization that every time they passed comment, squashed them or shoot them over & over again. Note that these people are zombies, they don’t die easily.
So you have a dream, go get it! Your job is not to please these people but to prove to yourself (and them) what you can do!
At times, it can be really hard to swallow all that noise around you.

But life is short.

It may be a little disheartening to have people around you discourage you, but remember that life is short.
Do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when they’re completely unwarranted, baseless, and probably not making any kind of sense?

Do you really want to pull back on your dream or doing what you want because of others, and start living a life that probably doesn’t fulfill your potential?
People who don’t support you and discourage you may not actually be bad people who intentionally want to destroy your dreams. Sometimes, they just don’t understand why you do what you want to do, so they voice out their concerns, which may make them seem dissenting and annoying.

If anything, since they don’t fully understand, I don’t see why it’s something to be upset over. Sometimes others are just insecure. So when people don’t support what you’re doing, probably it’s about them than it is about you.

It could be plain ignorance or even jealousy, but some people tend to attack things that are new to them. So again, don’t take their words to heart. If their criticism isn’t constructive in any way, they may be discouraging you because of their own fears and insecurities.

NOTE THAT NOBODY CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE.

People who doesn’t support you might paint a gloomy picture of what’s to come if you do proceed to do what you want to do.
You don’t know the future either and nobody does, but do you still want to listen to others instead of believing in yourself? Don’t let objections from others become your truth and limit you from creating what you want in life.

YOU CAN DO THIS WITHOUT THEM.

It’s natural to want support and encouragement from the people around you, especially your loved ones. But it is possible to do what you want to do without their blessings & support.
Just think of how many successful, inspiring people took the road less traveled.

Go ahead..follow your dreams...you will get there.

Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

FORGIVE AND FORGET.

I received this letter recently:

hi queen,
There have been things that have happened in the marriage that have caused me to not trust my husband. He has apologized and admitted he was wrong but I can’t let go and forgive. I want to. And I know that once I can release this anger and fully forgive we can be happy. How do I do this?
              Yours faithfully
              ××××××××××××××××××

Do you ever feel that way? In marriage and courtship  we have a lot to forgive on a daily basis.
What if you discover your husband is having an affair, or gambling, or using pornography? 

Here is what i told her...

1. Be Sure the Offense is in the Past

First, you have to be sure in your mind that the offense is truly in the past. For instance, if he had an affair, are you sure that this is not going on now? Has he demonstrated that he is committed to not doing it again? If not, then this is the issue that needs to be dealt with first if his infraction was something that could damage the marriage (like affairs, pornography use, or other addictions). These things shouldn’t be treated lightly, and you likely need some help to work through this and make sure it is put to rest. I have a post on how to deal with big things in marriagehere.

If, however, he has shown that he is sorry and has tried to show you that he won’t do it again, the ball is now in your court. So let me say a few things about forgiveness.

2. Remember that He Can’t Change the Past

No matter what he did, he can’t make up for it now. There is no way for him to erase what happened. If you continue to hold it against him, it is like you are asking him to make up for it. You’re asking for the impossible. At some point you have to realize that what is past is past, and you can’t change it. You can’t ask him to change it. It just is.

If you keep your anger towards him, you end up punishing both of you. It is impossible to function as a unit and to have an intimate relationship if you are harbouring resentment for him.

So what do you want from your marriage? Do you want someone you can love and cherish who cherishes you back? Do you long to feel loved and unconditionally accepted? Then you need to work on achieving that in your marriage, and that means letting this go. You will never get what you want and yearn for if you stay angry.

3. Work Towards Forgiveness By Remembering Who Paid the Price

It may not be fair that you forgive. Forgiveness never is fair. That’s not the point. It is not that forgiveness is fair; it is that it is freeing. It frees both of you. He doesn’t have to make up for the past, and you don’t have to stay angry. You can both concentrate on the here and now and learn to love one another again.

Finally, if you’re finding it hard to forgive, remember that someone has already paid the price. God already paid the price for all the rotten stuff that people do when Jesus died on the cross. If God’s already paid for it, then someone has been punished. It wasn’t your husband, but someone has paid. So your husband doesn’t have to. Jesus also paid for all the stuff you’ve done. He did it so that you could have a relationship with God without being hindered by all the sin and ugly stuff in our lives.

So if you ask God to help you understand how He has forgiven you, maybe you will also be able to extend that forgiveness to your husband.

4. Give It Time

I know that takes time. When an affair has taken place, for instance, you can’t just rush in and pretend like it didn’t happen. You have to rebuild trust, and that can take a while. I have a friend whose husband had an affair, and she moved out for a year. They went to counseling, they went on a retreat, and only then did she feel like she could trust him again. But they did rebuild, and today they’re rock solid.

The problem is that just “moving back in” doesn’t mean that you’ve forgiven. It has to be a heart thing. And that means that you have to promise yourself that when you get angry again, you won’t think about it. If you’ve chosen to forgive, and then you get angry, it isn’t his problem anymore. It’s yours. He’s not the one who has done something wrong; it’s now you.

So when you’re struggling to rebuild, and you feel yourself getting angry, pray instead. Sing instead. Do anything to stop thinking about it! Don’t let yourself plot revenge, or brood, or even talk a ton to your friends about how you’re feeling. Take it to God and don’t entertain it. The more you let yourself think about it, the more you’ll stay angry.

5. Give up Your Right to be Angry

Once he has shown he’s repentant and he isn’t doing it anymore, and once you’ve decided that you want to rebuild the relationship and move forward, you have to then give up your right to be angry and pull out that infraction everytime he does something wrong in the future. It needs to stay behind you. I’d even recommend you each writing letters to each other: he promises not to do it again, and you promise that you won’t bring it up again or harbour resentment about it. Then, if you do start yelling at him about it, he can pull out that letter and confront you. And if he slips back into a negative pattern, you can pull out yours.

Instead of thinking about all the bad things he’s done, spend that emotional energy rebuilding your friendship. Do stuff together. Exercise together. Play a game together. Cook together. It’s hard to stay angry with someone with whom you’re building memories with.

Need to forgive? Take those steps. And then keep working through our six week challenge! You’ll find at the end you have a whole different marriage/relationship..

I hope i m not sounding like a deaconess today? Love ya.

DON'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

I m sure the Guys will want to crucify me for this,but the truth has to be said..

Guys can be excellent salesmen, to enchant you to like them, love them, and date them, but there are obvious reasons not to give him a chance no matter how hard he tries to impress you. Not to say that all guys are out to break your heart, but if you notice any of the following things, see them as clear reasons not to give him a chance.
No chance at all.

1. HE COMPARES YOU TO HIS EX

One of the biggest reasons not to give him a chance is if the guy you’re either dating or crushing on compares you to his ex. You're a beautiful strong woman who needs to feel proud living in her own skin! Don’t ever let a guy make you feel like #2. You will know pretty quickly where he stands with feelings for you because if he always brings her up or says things like, “you have a cute smile just like Jumoke” then run the other direction! Give him time and space to first get over his ex.

2. HE 'S RUDE TO YOUR FRIENDS

Sure, everyone has good days and bad days, but when a guy you’re dating or crushing on is meeting your friends or hanging out with you and your friends, he should always put a smile on and at the very least just be kind. He doesn’t have to be BEST FRIENDS with your friends, but treating them with respect is huge. A guy I was crushing on was so rude to my two friends that the crush was immediately OVER.

3. BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN YOU

Do you feel like you’re always on the verge of tears? Do you feel like you need to walk on eggshells being around him? If the answer is yes to even one of those questions, then he's bringing out the worst in you. A guy who should be given a chance is one who respects you and brings out the best in you. You should feel a sense of wholeness and completeness if you’re with the right guy.
.

4. HE’S TOO CONCEITED

Self-confidence is a very attractive quality in both guys and girls. But being overly cocky and conceited is a huge turn off, right? If you’re starting to see signs that he takes things way too seriously, has a big head, and constantly feels like he's rubbing his pride in everyone’s #face, you may want to reconsider dating him or pursuing him as a boyfriend. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know…but I really wouldn’t want to be with someone who is over-the-top conceited.

5. HE GIVES YOU FALSE HOPES HE’LL CHANGE

If you’re in a relationship right now or dating someone who either makes you feel like you need to change or who you are desperately trying to change, your relationship is not healthy. Harsh, but true. Some guys will lead you on to believe that they WILL change because they claim to love you or want to be your ideal mate. But the truth is, actions speak louder than #words. If he seems to be saying one thing and doing another, chances are he is giving you false hopes of changing. At the end of the day, though, you shouldn’t be with someone in hopes of changing them.

6. YOU FEEL LIKE A BOOTY CALL

Does he only call you past 8 p.m.? Do you only stay in his room/your room when you’re spending #time together? Do you feel the only great thing about your relationship is when you’re physical? If the answer is yes to these questions, then you may be a booty call. A guy who makes you feel like a#booty call is certainly not worth giving a chance because you are just another number to him. You are worth more than just getting together with someone to be used!

7. HE DOESN’T HAVE A DIRECTION

This one is a bit harsh but again needs to be addressed. If you’re noticing that your boyfriend or #crush just doesn’t seem to know what he wants for himself or wants out of life, he’s probably not worth pursuing. I have a friend who dated someone for 7 years and he kept saying “I’ll go get my degree soon enough” and “I’ll eventually find the right jot” and she kept hoping for the best. Ultimately, though, he was just not a serious person and didn’t have a direction and you cannot hope for a future with someone who doesn’t have a direction.

8. YOU DON’T SHARE BELIEFS

This is a biggie. I will tell you right now that I met someone when I studied abroad who showed signs very early that he did not believe the same things I believed in and I deliberately chose to ignore the #signs and I continued to give him a chance. We were together for a few months and although he’s gorgeous and really sweet, we just didn’t see eye-to-eye and it always got in the way. If you’re really strong in your beliefs, do not give a guy the chance of changing to your beliefs because it may never happen.

9. HIS PERSONALITY RUBS YOU THE WRONG WAY

If none of these reasons gave you a reason to not give him a chance, I hope this one will open your #eyes. If you aredating or seeing someone who just downright annoys you then just stop talking to him. Don’t remain hopeful or in love with the idea of being in a#relationship…it’s not worth it. If he doesn’t give you butterflies or make you feel cozy and warm inside, don’t give him a chance. I was dating this #guyfor a while who seemed PERFECT on paper but I didn’t feel chemistry with him. The spark never happened.

I’m not writing this to give you nightmares about dating guys and I’m not trying to discourage or say that all guys are not worth giving a chance. I’m saying be careful and know how you feel about someone before you give him a chance. I’m saying that you really need to know someone inside and out before you give yourself the full OK to open your emotions to him.

This a new year..remember that a good woman knows time waits for no one,and she avoids drama.

Do have a nice day

CHARACTERISTICS OF LOVE.

Love. It makes the world go 'round, right? Well, at least that's the how the saying goes. But is it true? It should be, but so many people confuse love with things like jealousy or possessiveness. True love isn't either of those things. But these 16 things are.

So here are the characteristics of REAL love:

1. Love means saying goodbye to expectations. Sure, we all want people to behave the way we want them to. We want them to be more affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter. Or more ambitious. All of these things are expectations. Expectations are just your requirements for "acceptability" of loving someone. But true love has no expectations. It simply loves "as is."

2. Love doesn't play the victim role or blame others. Love doesn't think others are "out to get them." Love doesn't think their loved ones are wrong. Love works together. It takes responsibility. It forgives and allows other people's actions to be their journey. Love doesn't take things personally.

3. Love includes letting go. Love doesn't equal possession. Just as the saying goes, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, then it never was." There is truth to that. Love allows people their freedom. It doesn't hold tightly and crush their wings in attempt to keep them. True love doesn't want to possess. It is willing to set you free if you want to be.

4. Love doesn't require you to continue a relationship. You may love someone very much, but you may not be compatible with them. Or they may drive you crazy with their continued disregard for your feelings. You can still love them, but that doesn't mean you have to be with them. Love doesn't mean that you have to stay, and stay and stay. You can leave the relationship and love them anyway.

5. Love has no room for jealousy. Like possession, jealousy doesn't equal love. We think that if we're not jealous of our loved ones that it means that we don't love them. True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you and only you.

6. Love is the absence of fear. You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have love. Then appreciation. After that, it's joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction. On the opposite end of the continuum of love is fear. Other fear-based emotions include, hatred, insecurity, jealousy or greed.

7. Love is not needing, but wanting. One of the things we try to teach kids is that there is a clear difference between a want and a need. Needing someone is a feeling based in fear. You fear that you can't live without them, so you need them. And remember, fear is the opposite of love. Wanting someone in your life gives them the freedom to leave, but still shows them you love them.

8. Love is an action, not just a feeling.Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion -- especially when it feels good. So, when we're in love, we want to feel that way forever. But guess what? That higher than "Cloud 9" feeling goes away after a while. That doesn't mean you don't love the other person anymore, it just means that it's not new anymore. So that's where the action needs to kick in. Show the person you love them. Don't just assume they know.

9. Love is unconditional. The word "unconditional" means that there are no expectations or limitations set. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans aren't good at that. But true love really does love without trying to change the other person.

10. Love means putting other people's needs equal to -- or before -- your own. While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not serve us well in relationships. If you don't put other people's needs at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful. Real love truly, genuinely cares about other people's happiness and will go to great lengths to make people feel valued.

11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there is. Science has proven that emotions like love and fear have very different vibrations. They can actually measure them. Love vibrates very fast, whereas fear-based emotions (think jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.) vibrate very slowly. When you love completely and unconditionally, there is no fear involved. The vibrations of love make you feel good at all times.

12. Love requires attention. Love doesn't ignore. It doesn't look the other way. It wants to be present and be together. When people are in love, sometimes they think that they don't have to "do any more work." But real love actually enjoys giving attention to another person. It feels good, and doesn't see giving attention to another person as a chore.

13. Love understands and accepts differences. Let's face it: We're all different. Even identical twins aren't exactly the same. They have different experiences and outlooks about the world. Real love doesn't make other people wrong for being different. When people truly love another person, they accept their differences.

14. Love varies in how it is expressed and accepted. What makes us "feel loved" varies. In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways people give and receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together and (5) Touch. It's important to discover other people's love language so you can understand each other and give love in a way that the other person recognizes it.

15. Love makes you feel good, not bad. Many people confuse being in a relationship with love. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean there is true love present. If there is jealousy, possessiveness, constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional or physical), that is not love. Refer back to #6. Those are fear-based emotions and actions.

16. Love has empathy. Empathy is the ability to put yourself into another person's shoes and see a situation from his/her point of view. Love has deep empathy. "When you hurt, I hurt." People who truly love one another don't want to hurt them. They want them to feel good. They care about their feelings and try everything they can to make them feel valued and worthy.

Remember, love is happiness, appreciation and feeling good. Anything other than that is not love. If we all loved one another as ourselves, the world would be a better place!

Have a nice day.

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Happy new year
Ladies lats get talking.

Do you know that when a man  wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Even juju wont work(lol)

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.this is 2016 oh..stop making escuses for him.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
You are not desperate..are  you?

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.FACT.

Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Dont ever think pregnancy will keep him..if he doesnt want you...

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.FACT

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
Remember on this page i talked about letting go of your ex so you can enjoy your next.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.you cant kill yourself my sister you can have fun..and  enjoy the time out.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware.

Do have a nice day.