YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND.

You might think of yourself as a good, maybe even a great one, but if you recognise at least four of these traits in yourself then we hate to tell you but you're a bad friend. Sort your shit out.

You consider yourself superior

You think you're richer, smarter, funnier and better looking and they are lucky to be your friend

You call them only when you need to talk about something

You frequently silence calls from them because 'you're busy' or 'it's just not a good time', but you never hesitate to pick up the phone and call them when you have a problem or you're just pissed off and you need a rant.

You don't really care about what they have to say

You find yourself zoning out of conversations when they're speaking. They're telling a story or explaining something and you can't help but drift off and think of that pair of shoes you need to get your hands on.

You're not supportive

They've decided to start a new venture, or they're taking up pilates... You find yourself scoffing at the thought of it.

 

You flirt with people they like

Your friend might like them, but this person clearly fancies you. It's not your fault if flirting is your natural state and more people are attracted to you, is it?

You borrow but you don't lend

So your friend makes more money than you, or they just have more money in general. Maybe they have better clothes or their fridge is always full - so it's okay to take from them.

You're an opportunist

You don't call them or return their calls for weeks but they put up a status saying 'got 4 tickets to the premier of Anchorman' and you jump on a tex

You're always the victim

If you ever have an argument, you're always the one that's hard done by and you make sure they know it. Whether it's tears or violence or emotional blackmail, you come out on top with them saying sorry.

You have a tendency to be clingy

You talk about them behind their back

One of your favourite topics is them. Their fashion sense, their family, their relationship, their sex life. You have something to say on them all.

You judge their choices

They dropped out of College and you think they're an idiot for it. They dyed their hair and you think they look like a fool. They slept with 5 different people last month and you think that's disgusting.

You're jealous of their other friends

You find yourself disliking their work friends or their old school friends or their new college friends. You can't really put your finger on why, you just think they're a pack of morons.

You're flaky 

You make plans to meet up for coffee but you always cancel. You have a night out organised but you're too hungover to show up. You're supposed to go to their families house for dinner but you go on the piss instead.

You can't keep a secret

It's just too juicy not to be told. They told you in confidence but fuck it right? whoever you tell won't tell anyone, they promise.

You take a small amount of pleasure when something doesn't work out for them

You knew their little venture wouldn't work out, you told them so. You were right. Like always.

If you want to have good friends  around you..you have to be a good friend  too.
Have a nice day.